Madame Boton Knows All!
by ASlaveToWords
Summary: Keiko has a question for a certain blunette psychic; "How long will I be waiting for the man of my dreams?" -- Not exactly the question Boton was expecting. What advice does the Grim Reaper have for the human girl?


**A/N: **This is another extraction from the play 'Wait Wait Bo Bait'. I changed some things and the characters but still do not take credit for the idea. Also, please not that I realize things in this 'story', if you can call it that are exactly cannon and like the show.... I guess that means you can call it AU. Anyway, hope you like it. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters, or the play this idea was borrowed from.

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A short-haired brunette lifted the flap and walked into the tent. Bluish smoke floated in the air and the place smelled of incense and scented candles which burned from various places all around. Looking up at the woman sitting at the back of the huge tent, Keiko Yukimora swallowed and finally stepped fully inside. The woman was wearing a veil which covered her head and most of her face, leaving only bright crimson eyes to peek through and the tips of a blue fringe to be barely seen.

Finally noticing the brunette, the woman lifted her hands in the air and gestured her over.

"Come in, come in. What do you want to know? Madame Boton, sees all."

Keiko nodded at the woman, noting her Eastern European accent, and sat down across from Madame Boton on a cushion.

"Thank you." The brunette said. "I just have one question."

The woman again lifted her hands with a flourish.

"Madame Boton knows all."

Keiko took a deep breath before speaking again.

"What I want to know is-"

"Cash up front honey." Boton interrupted, her fingers outstretched and wiggling. "Twenty-four fifty including tax."

Keiko paid the psychic and the woman spoke again, taking the brunette's hands in her own and examining them carefully, then dropping them and studying her face.

"What is it you want to know? Your hands are very descriptive. Your face has interesting shadows. This is going to be a most fascination session." Boton said with a air of importance. She drew herself up to her full height and lifted her hands once again in a knowing way.

"Ask your question and Madame Boton will answer. She will tell all."

Keiko took another deep breath to ready herself, then straightened in her seat and finally spoke.

"OK.... OK. This is what I want to know; how long am I supposed to wait for the man of my dreams?"

The air of importance around Boton vanished and she deflated like a balloon as she starred at Keiko as if she had five heads.

"Come again?"

"My Prince Charming." Keiko said, unfazed by Boton's reaction. "My knight in shining armour. The one who's going to sweep me off my feet and make me happy for the rest of my life. How long am I supposed to wait?"

Boton drew herself up again and waved a hand dismissively.

"You watch too much TV." She said importantly.

Keiko snorted indignantly as an expression to match crossed her face.

"You're supposed to see into the future. So look into the future and tell me when he's going to come."

Boton sighed and gave Keiko a sympathetic look, appearing as if she were trying to calm a two-year old down from a tantrum.

"Oh honey." She said gently. "Here, take your money back. Go put an add in the paper. Better yet, stand on the street corner with a sign; 'Wanted: One man of dreams.' You'll be farther ahead then anything I can tell you."

Keiko's hands went to her hips and and she narrowed her eyes at the woman before her.

"Kuwabara said you could tell me. Kuwabara said you wee the best."

Boton sighed in annoyance, then reached up and tore the veil from her head and face, revealing an irritated expression that matched Keiko's perfectly. When she spoke again her Eastern European accent was gone.

"Kuwabara gets paid to say that!" She retorted irritably. "Look, I can do wealth and prosperity. I can do great romance and whens the best time of year to buy a house. I can usually make a stab at children. But how long you should wait for the man of your dreams? If I could do that, do you think I'd be sitting here? Do you know how long I've been waiting for the man of my dreams? It ain't been a minute, and it ain't been pretty."

Keiko blinked at Boton.

"What happened to your accent?" She asked in confusion with a blank expression.

"Huh? Oh, that's just for show."

When Keiko still looked lost, Boton shrugged.

"The future is easier to believe when it comes from eastern Europe. Don't ask me why, I just follow the trends."

Keiko shook her head and pushed the topic aside, frowning when she thought back to her predicament.

"Well this is no good." She said with a pout. "I mean, if I had a timeline -- you will wait X number of years and the open the door, I'd be willing to wait. For the man of my dreams, I'm willing to wait. My mother always said; 'Don't settle. Don't give away your dreams. I settled for a chef and I've been kicking myself ever since.' "

Boton raised an eyebrow at this.

"Restaurant or take-out?" She enquired curiously.

"Take-out." Keiko replied, shaking her head. Boton gave her a sympathetic look and shook her head knowingly.

"The poor dear."

Keiko sighed and began again.

"But now, I don't know. It's so unpredictable. And it's so unfair to Hiei."

Boton's ears pricked at this and she furrowed her brows as she turned her head to Keiko curiously.

"Who's Hiei?"

"My boyfriend." Keiko said a little sullenly.

Boton's eyes bugged.

"Hold the phone, hold the phone!" She exclaimed, leaning in closer to the brunette.

"Why are you looking for a white knight when you already have a Hiei? You're here with you don't-settle-for-a-chef sob story and you have a Hiei? Do you know how many people out there are waiting for a knight and have no back-up Hiei to lean on?"

Keiko sighed again and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Hiei is great, don't get me wrong. He's cute and kind and he loves me and-"

"And?" Boton pressed.

Keiko looked back down at her.

"And he's short." She said bluntly. "My friends make fun of me all the time. He can barely kiss me without standing on tiptoe. He's not man of my dreams material. He's not the one I've been waiting for."

"How do you know?" Boton asked.

"His name is Hiei!" Keiko replied in a 'duh' tone. "The man of your dreams doesn't get off a horse and say; 'Hello, my name is Hiei.' It doesn't work like that.

Boton shook her head and stood up, looking down at Keiko with her hands on her hips.

"You watch too much TV." She said bluntly.

Keiko furrowed her brows.

"Hey, where are you going? What about my future?"

Boton lifted her hands and spread them out in front of her as if displaying a revelation.

"I have seen the light!" She said dreamily. "I'm going to get my Koenma."

Keiko shook her head in astonishment.

"Who's Koenma?" She asked in bewilderment.

"Koenma wants to marry me." Boton said flatly. "I've been putting him off and putting him off 'cause I've been waiting too. Only I've been waiting for one of those tall dark and handsome types. Someone who drives a motorcycle and has long, curly hair.

Keiko got to her feet then too and gave Boton an admiring look.

"See, you know what you want. My mother was right, why settle?"

Boton sighed and placed her hands on her hips again.

"'Cause this whole wait for the man of your dreams thing us crackers in your head. Who says the man of your dreams is ever going to come? What if you wait forever and you lose your Hiei and I lose my Koenma and we're both bitter old woman, the kind with lots of cats and dust balls for company. Kids on the street will pass by our house and snigger. I do not want that to happen to me. I'm going to marry Koenma. I'm going to marry a man who loves me and I love him and who cares if he's got the form of a toddler most of the time and always has a pacifier in his mouth and is a total wimp when it comes to most everything. Do you love your Hiei?"

Keiko chewed her cheek for a moment.

"Yes, but-"

"Neh, neh, neh." Boton interrupted, waggling a finger scoldingly. "Do you love your Hiei?"

"Of course I do." Keiko replied, mildly frustrated.

"Then stop whining and stop waiting for a man who's living in your head. I will wait no longer."

Boton headed towards the exit of the tent and placed a hand over her mouth as a paddle appeared in her free one.

"Koenma! Koenma! Get your cloud, I've got my river stick, we're going to Vegas!"

Keiko blinked after the blunette for a moment before finally shaking her head and running after her.

"Wait, wait! What about my refund!"


End file.
